I got summoned for jury duty.
Despite not having any experience in jury duty, here is how I envision it going:
8:05am: What do you mean I was supposed to be here at 7:30?
8:06: is it over yet?
8:07: is it over yet?
8:08: is it over yet?
8:15: Surely to God it’s got to be close to noon.
Brief nap
8:30: did someone steal my bag?
8:31: where’s the bathroom?
8:35: do we get a 15 minute break?
8:36: please crazy person sitting next to me, please don’t talk to me.
8:37: no I don’t have any pickles.
8:38: put in earphones and watch Netflix.
Noon: I wonder if anyone would notice if I didn’t come back from lunch?
1:00pm: How many more minutes?
1:01: compose a poem on the meaning of life.
1:15: life has no meaning.
1:16: why is this happening to me?
1:17: why do all the bad things happen to me?
1:18: dig for a chocolate bar in my bag.
1:22: stare into space wondering what Frankie’s doing.
3:00: get up to stretch my legs.
3:15: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY CALLED MY NAME WHILE I WAS OUTSIDE STRETCHING MY LEGS?
3:30: run to the bathroom and tease my hair like Nancy Grace.
4:14: emerge from battery of questions including but not limited to: who was the lead detective on True Detective? have you ever dissected a worm? who is the president of the united states? do you carry a medical marijuana card? without looking, list the colors on my socks. what are your thoughts on the death penalty?
4:20: What do you mean I’ve been named the foreman?
4:25: Your Honor, I call for a mistrial!
5:00pm: Enter sequestration.
DO THEY ALLOW CATS IN SEQUESTRATION?
8 Comments
All I can picture is the jury duty episode from 30rock…classic! But seriously, I got called constantly over a 10-yr span for local and federal jury duty yet was never picked once…but last year my husband was called for the first time ever and was put on a jury. Aside from the stress of an un-planned week away from work, he was really appreciative of the experience and the insight into our judicial system.
I think I would be too…if they’d stop bouncing me to alternate dates without any notice. Not making me appreciate their lack of respect for the average person’s schedule.
I felt the exact way on my first (and only) summons, especially considering it was -10 that January morning. However, once we got there I was surprisingly so into it! I felt all official and was actually really bummed when the trial got rescheduled. That said, it wasn’t the usual boring fender bender/traffic situation, it was pretty attention grabbing, kind of a cops and robbers tale. Who knows, maybe you’ll be intrigued. Even though they said no electronics, everybody brought theirs and it wasn’t a problem. Bring a mag or your kindle, for sure!
No electronics? No electronics?? Flatline
Hmmm, who was the lead detective on True Detective? Also, you should follow up and follow up hard on that whole cats in jury sequestration thing.
Hang in there!
Courtney ~ Sartorial Sidelines
Woody Harrelson! Even though Matthew McConaughey did all the work. Also, no cats, no dice.
“Your honor, my time would be better spent in New Orleans right now. I feel I could perform my civic duties better from there.”
Worth a shot?
I will be sure to ask for a change of venue if the above does not work. Thank you for your insight. Are you eating beignets right now???